To know of the notebook is to be part of the notebook

A: I don't know how to pat a dog. I automatically go for, like, the kitty parts.

A: I always had staring competitions with my cat. And I always won because she didn't have a good attention span.

D: I had this friend whose dog , every time she saw me, she just started barking and barking...
J: That's because she knew you're Satan.
D (growly voice attempt): What are you talking about?
J: I said Satan, not Kermit the Frog.

D: That's for my S&M.
A: That's quite a specific scenario.
J: Christmas S&M....deck the halls with ballbags of holly.
D: 'Tis the season to be jolly.
C: Don we now our gay apparel....

Captain Bleach and the Suicide Aftermath.

H: I wonder if they do that in real life. It's like, someone bumps into them on the street, they fall over, go all....you're like "soccer player."
C: It reminds me of Hamish Blake's "Does crying get you man love?"
Video

A: And he's(Spock) being all logical and I'm like "you're so cute!"
C: I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate that reaction.
A: I'm pretty sure he wouldn't. He'd be like "what?" and raise one eyebrow...
C: He'd tell you you were being illogical.
A: And he'd be like, "Your feelings are illogical, A***." and I'd be like "Yes!!! *giggles* Say it again!"

A: I do! You've discovered new insight into my character. My "character." Well. The way you drink tea or coffee says important things about someone who drinks as much as I do.
C: Yes, just the way you insert a needle tells a lot about a heroin addict.

A: I could play solitaire because that's all I know how to do.
C: You could invent your own tarot cards.
J: Ok, if you invented your own tarot cards, every card would be death.
A: But there would be many different ways to die.
J: Yes, always because your soul is leaving your body because C**** killed you.
C: Your limbs leaving your body, your blood leaving your body...a veritable buffet of options.

J: I can't take aspirin because I have bleedy blood. And no, you can't test this. That smile tells me all I need to know.

J: They're special.
A: So you pet me on the head.
J: I can't pat them on the head - they'd rip off my head.
A: But I can wreap reek, wrea, reap, wreak...
J: But I have a bridge full of fear!

S: They have a pedicure in Japan where they have a kind of fish - I forget what kind, not pirhanas - but they eat away the dead skin...

Muffins gone wild.

J: Our family came on the Mayflower.
D: Quite literally.
A: The poor Mayflower.
S: The whole family?

UNITY THROUGH TETANUS

GIANT SWIZZLESTICKS OF DOOM

A: By the by, you do know of the werewolves, right? LA LA LA

A: I feel like I have an audience here. Like I'm on display.
S: I prefer to think of it as a wall of judgement.

C: I want a demon.
A: What?
C: A demon.
S: What?
C&A: Demon.
A: I head "a Dean." I was like, ok...
S: I heard "I want to die." I was like, keep it to yourself, C**...

C: See, I would just be tempted to do something that makes you look ridiculous rather than something that furthered my evil plans.
J: This is me. I already look ridiculous.
C: But think how much more ridiculous you would look with a tentacle growing out of your forehead, poking your nose and eyes.
J: I could be popular with Japanese girls.
T: Looking for some head.
J: And then I wouldn't have a complex from tentacle sex anymore!
C: I'll save your lovelife by implanting a tentacle in your forehead!!
J: Why aren't you writing this down?

D: Why would I be cold? What with all the ice and air conditioning and water...
C: Damp.
D: We prefer the term "wet."
C: Ok....
J: D**, how's the foot in mouth disease coming?
D: Great. Badly.

D: Thankfully, I learnt not to eat when I was in Europe.
J: I learnt not to eat when you were in Europe too.

C: Hockey just isn't the same without constant sexual innuendo.
D: Then again, D** has been giving it to us all...oh god.
D: I wish I could phase shift to another dimension right now.

D&J: To know of the notebook is to be part of the notebook.

C: A superpower of contagion thing?
J: There was already a supervillain with that power. They called her Typhoid Mary....could have been more original though.
D: AIDS Jane?

A: It smells of you though. It should have my scent. It should smell like me.

A: My world is orange! I see the light!
D: You should punch it.
A: Hmmmm, maybe you're right. Maybe I should punch the light....oooh, there's a button in here....

J: Congratulations, A***, you're a sleep lesbian.
A: No, I consider myself sleep-bicurious. I'm not fully graduated to lesbianism yet.

A: Fuck me, why did I just do that?
C: What?
A: I licked my arm. It tasted like soap...I was like laughing and giggling yesterday and for some reason I kissed my hand. There's like this moment where you step back and are like "what the fuck am I doing?"

A: What is the purpose of having weirdness if not to share it with everyone so they can mock you?

A: I have flashes of...
C: Competence?
A: Yeah, I wasn't sure what to call it...
C: It's so unfamiliar...

S: There must have been so much fake laughter in Nazi Germany.
A: Like, ahahahaha. Hahaha Hitler. That's so funny Hitler...