April 15, 2007: “Porn&Pancakes. A men’s breakfast with XXXChurch”

I have to say, I find these utterly hilarious:

Ottawa is now only 3-for-15 in the series. So, what's wrong with the power play?
"Pittsburgh," said Murray.

...Afterward, someone reminded Alfredsson that before Game 2 he declared that whoever scored a win yesterday would have the "momentum" going into Game 3 tonight.
"I lied," said Alfredsson.

Murray and Alfie are my heroes.

_________________________
C: I want to go to Sweden.
SC: I bet their Ikeas are good.

S: I’ve a good sentence for you: “go hang a salami; I’m a lasagna hog.” palindrome.

RZ: I was very outraged. In English....so I got me a new flight...
S: You got you, did you?
R: What?
S: You got you, did you?
R: ‘I got me did me’?
C: It’s a perfectly valid sentence construction. If a bit redneck.
S: That’s what I meant. Did you say ‘yee-haw?’

“tonight, meet the man who started the number one Christian porn site...”
“sexuality is a gift of god.”

R: Well, if he survived the attack...
S: Then the other guy didn’t do a good job, now did he?

R: I want to see more about the sexual Christian porn.
S: But that was starting to get boring.

R...I want to see more about Christianity and sex. Come on! It’s relevant to all of us!
S: I don’t know about the Christianity part...

R: Does Jesus talk about homosexuality in the Bible? I mean, directly? Is he like ‘homosexuality blah blah...’
S: I don’t know, but it says he loves a whole lot of people.

“Porn&Pancakes. A men’s breakfast with XXXChurch”
S: Jesus loves me. Literally.

R: You can change the channel now. You have my godly permission.
S: Godly permission? I would prefer ‘divine assent.’
R: That’s also a good way of formulating it. But you have to admit I am a supernatural being.
S: But what *kind* of supernatural being? The devil would be a kind of supernatural being. He’s a friend of mine.

R: Come on, you want to know about this too; it’s a porn church, for god’s sakes!
S: With pancakes.
R: With pancakes! Exactly! What more could you want?!

C: Wasn’t she going to hell anyway?
S: Well, it was sex before marriage, I assume. Unless it was immaculate conception. And I’m pretty sure you would go to hell for having an abortion and preventing the second coming of Jesus. Just a theory.

mycrappysexlife.com
“god has given us the ability to have a great sex life in our marriages!’

S: Oh dear. I see. A low budget-children’s show.
R: Oh, Sarah, you’re so funny. Where do you get your humour from, your mum or your dad?
S: My dad.
S: Is your mum as dull as a pebble?
S: No, my mum’s very...homely. That’s not the right word. She’s just very sweet.

R: Like me. I’m a delicacy. Lots of chefs want to chop me up into little pieces.
S: Can I send it back?

S: My subconscious keeps turning C into everything she’s not
R: Like what?
S: Just take everything that’s C and turn it to the opposite. She’s mean and vindictive and just won’t die!
S: ...That’s my recurring nightmare
R: Killing people?
S: No, NOT killing people. Just! Won’t Die!

KR: I was beside a drunken Habs fan and he was like "Go on, Krusty the Clown! What are you going to do?!" And I was like "aww...he does look like Krusty..." :(

P: The French part of the national anthem is so violent. And so religious.

K: Yeah, Jordan, way to think ahead.
AS: Way to screw up the team!
K: Hopefully.

P: I think we should set up a webcam here, so they can see you guys waving at them.

P: We'll have to get the paper bags out by the end of the game.
(general assent)
A: I'll rip my hair out!
K: I dare you.
S: No, let me!

K: But that's Toronto fans. They have a reason to be ignorant.

K: Look how white his(Crosby) teeth are!
A: So pretty.
K: They're whiter than his helmet!
(?) It's because he has to do all those Reebok commercials.

A: I read this disturbing story. It was about a baseball player, so I didn't want to read it...so he, like, reaches the majors, or whatever it's called...and a ball hit him when he was batting, or whatever it is, and it did something to his coordination....

A: I actually missed you last night, A.
A: Really?
H: Ewww. Why?
S: They weren't getting my jokes!!!
A:...No, I understand. I have to consciously not start thinking that way when watching hockey.

"Tell me if I'm getting in your way" on goalie helmet.
"The physicality heats up"

S: Even funny people get sad!

A: They'd better do good things to Snape!
K??: Snape is good!
H: Sirius is coming back!

S: They had another horse, Red, who was red. It suited her...

K: It's like, 'yo, my dad owns the Brick, what does your dad do?!'
S: What, did he think he was going to give him a pony-back ride??

A: To be scary, my dad would take a belt and fold...do the snap...(various gestures)..thing...and it took us ages to figure out what you could do with that...

K: Look at his(Crosby) lips! They're so luscious!

S: I was like, you both(H&A) didn't clean to spite A???
K: She's getting stupider by the day!