January 9, 2008: Puppies in a microwave

first note from the new notebook!!! woot!

S5: I don't mop up water in my house. I'm convinced it evaporates. 101 ways to drive the boyfriend mad...

V: ...at least not in Point St. Charles. I don't think they clear snow there; I think they just race each other.

S5: I want to get a dog at some point in my life that is very far from now, but the dog needs to match this theme music...

J1: Why would you want 60 DIALOG projects?
C: Self-torture? You can read them and be like 'oh god, I've failed as a teacher!'?

C: She's like my hero.
J!: 'I've always wanted to draw flaming pentacles on my school assignments!'

S5: ...because you're plain at heart. You choose your poncho to represent your inside soul to the world.
P: Through my poncho?
V: Your poncho says something about you, P**, whether you like it or not.
P: Like what?
V: You smell?
P: That's probably true. Especially when it rains, it smells like wet llama.

V: Not a word!! Who does that?!
S5: Angel does it on Season 3 of Buffy.
P: You ruined it for me.

J1: People of our height have to get "short" pants.
S5: They're called ankle.

S1: I felt like I'd never seen a refridgerator so full before. There was like a big thing of milk and I was like, 'wow, that's big.'
J1: They buy like cartons of juice...

S1: I was so sad yesterday I looked up the ads on facebook that said "make money online for free!'

C: Oh god, I'm sorry.
S1: Think unfunny thoughts.
C: Starvation, death...
S1: You probably find that funny...cataloguing..

A1: Think about puppies in a microwave!
C: But that's hilarious!

J2: I can tell from her extremely bland teaching skills that she's smart.
A1: ..her failure to relate to retards...
J2: ..Sometimes, it's like, I don't want to read what this person wrote; they like people too much!
A1: They're not introverted enough to be smart!

A1: C, no! I'm just going to have to talk in cat, invent a language, so I just come out as meow! meow!
C: You know I'm just going to write that down.
A1: No! meow!

J2: My ethnic background is cowboy.

J2: It's an off-campus equestrian facility because McGill doesn't own a herd of horses. Yet.
A1: Yet. I'm sure it will. If only for research purposes. 'Which one makes the best glue?'
J2: The old ones. The old dead ones.

P: You're(A1) too perky, you're(C) giggling too much, and you(J2) just said poo-bah.
J2: Poo-bah.
P: You're all scaring me.

J2: I just like the implication that you're calling something homosexual. I find this B+ very homosexual in nature. It has homosexual undertones...

on the etymology of 'gay'
A1: And we get homosexual from happiness. They're all happier than you, where you have to go home and fuck your wife every day. Not my fault you don't fuck her face to face anymore...
P: ..I find this very disturbing, coming from a married woman.

J2: I don't like the term crashdump.
P...crashdump sounds like a good industrial band name.
J2: That sounds like an awful...actually, I've heard worse.
P: Anal Cunt?
A1: Vaginal Discharge?
P: I like Anal Cunt just because of theuir song titles. "You Look Adopted," "Hitler Was A Sensitive Man," "I Punched you in the Stomach Because You Were Pregnant." Those are awesome song titles.
J2: And important stories to tell, through song.
here are some more...if you really want to see them

A1: I can't wait until you guys reproduce. it's going to be so awesome.
P: My kid is going to be awesome. If it's a boy I'm going to name him Ham Sandwich.
A1: Can we call him Hamwich for short?
P: Hammy....I've been talking about calling my kid Ham Sandwich since I was like 12.

P: You're pretty fucked up. I've heard stories.
A1: I think I've told you stories.
P: Yeah, that's kind of what I meant. Who else would tell me stories? Well, there is the Sunday night meeting I have with your husband in a gay club..
A1: I knew he was gay! Fucking doily-crocheter...

A1: I hear prostate massage is good for guys...they do it to elephants!..I hear if you stick a cattle prod up there...ptoo! All done!
P: What?
A1: Nothing. Nevermind....no, it's embarassing. I shouldn't know these things.
P: I think everyone should know these things. Maybe not the cattle prod, but...

P: You really like pain, don't you?
A1: I like a modicum of suffering.

A1: What?! I also knee him in the crotch!
P: Just to touch him there...
A1: No, just so it would hurt.

A1: She poked me and nudged me..
C: Oh my god! Facebook molestation!
P: Need I mention that you've brought up the word "molestation" again?
A1: Molestation is a great word! it has 'mole' in it...
P: ..and 'estation.'
A1: Mostly I like the 'mole,' 'molest'...
C: I like the way it sounds: 'molest' 'molest' 'molestation' molest'...
P: Stop it!!!

P: You'll break your neck. You'll be the wheelchair librarian.
A1: That would be funny, though, if I didn't break my neck but just fell on my ass.
P: Your husband will leave you.
A1: No he won't. He'll be like 'atrophy's hot.'

A1: I'm supposed to be a vegetarian with a baby and abs by the time I'm 25!
P: Who has the abs: you or the baby?
Q: That's what I was going to say.

A1: Mrw mrw. I'll be your cat, C.

P: You could always shoot them.
C: That doesn't always work. What if you're in fancy dress?
P: One, you can still shoot them, and two, when have you ever been in fancy dress?
C: .....prom....I hate those stupid little bags--no room for my notebook. You could only fit like a tiny handgun...

P: I think you learn a lot about yourself here, like your tolerance for..
C: Pain? Boredom?
P: Boredom, yes. If you can tolerate two years here, you can deal with any personal tragedy.

S1: I'm starting to think more and more about being a cataloguing librarian and hiding in the basement for the rest of the time.

S1: It's like 'Would you like that supersized? So you can supersize your ass?' I have a lot of pent-up anger about that job...

S1: Is P sitting there so he can throw things at him during class? He was too far away last semester...

b: ...librarians are matchmakers, finding a match between users and information...
S1: We're basically madams. Pimping out books.

S1; I love how it's on blue. So pretty.
C: So soothing. it makes me think of a mental hospital.
S1: Or baby boys.

S1: 'Your needs are very important to us.' That's what we should say when users come in the door. I'm down with that. In your sluttiest costume..
C2: 'How may I service your needs?'

C: We're going to be part of this fascist society! They're using us!
C2: And we're going to put phallic symbols on every product!

S1: I tried drawing a puppy in a microwave, but it didn't work.

S1: ...places for old people to hang out.
C: ...and homeless people. Don't forget Twinkletoes.
S1: Mr. Bojangles...

P: I'll stop pointing at my crotch now. For the people not in this conversation. They're like 'why is that guy pointing at his crotch repeatedly? I'm never talking to him again.'