LC: It's nice, very subtle. It's not like my lipstick enters the room and then I do.
C: They're going to turn into dragons; greedy people do that in Icelandic mythology. And then dragons will take over the world.
N: That would be bad.
C: Yes, because they'll melt all the hockey rinks.
DE: You're gonna be a hot pregnant chick; you're gonna have a stomach like this and I'd still do you.
D: Look at that body! Flawless! I think one of his pecs is bigger than the other...
C: I'm not often in my dreams, though a penguin always is...
L: Maybe you're really a penguin in disguise. You like the cold...
C: Maybe! Because in one dream, when I was falling off a high building (I was in that dream), my shadow was in the shape of a penguin!...Once I also fell off a really tall penguin...
D: I would have impregnated that chick; she was awesome....with her permission, of course...
D: Oh, Jared, you make *me* the happiest woman in the world.
D: Do them both! Have one in your mouth and one in your pussy. Hey, I've done it before, and by pussy I mean anus...
N: I'm just really glad I get to spend time with you, both of you, all three of you, even the one who's on the toilet...
__________________________
Ottawa:
MW: We were thinking of pouring Gatorade on you, but we lost it.
HW: Slash we didn't have any.
MW: We were going to pour hot coffee on you...
H: But I drank almost all of it.
MW: I'm pretty sure I mentioned that.
H: I knew you mentioned nachos but I didn't know we were having them.
C: Why else would we be talking about nachos?
H: I though you were just talking about how good they were.
MW: We're going to go to a bar and pour nachos all over ourselves. And we'll be sexy and we'll each get a boy to come to the movie with us.
H: Wearing *only* nachos...
MW: Don't know if we need to go *that* far...
MW: The didn't bring us water. Let's not pay. I'll fling myself out that window...
C: You'll just have to pay for the window.
MW: I'll sue them for not having the right kind of glass, that breaks safely...
...
MW: I'm going to give myself a papercut with this...it's taking forever.
C: There's a knife. Maybe try cutlery.
MW: C's weird. She wants me to stab myself with cutlery.
C: I'm not the only one.
MW: Hugh Grant has definately gotten more attractive as he got older.
C: Mmm, before it was just like 'You're so cute! I want to pinch your cheek and just shake it and wobble your scrawny neck!'...I was agreeing with you.
- (hockey)
C: That was scary. She was being molested by a sandwich.
H: That's probably the best thing to be molested by.
"Buffalo's been red hot on the powerplay the last few weeks.."
H: They're going to be red...dead..
- (dinner)
E-R: The Rock was in one. He got blown up...he had no legs, one arm, and was missing two fingers...
MM: Not so rock solid after all.
...
E-R: Jack Osbourne was in my dream once.
MM: I love how she dreams about other guys, eh?
E-R: But he was a psycho killer.
MM: Why can't I be a psycho killer?
E-R: Because then I wouldn't want to cuddle.
MM: We could cuddle *forever*!
E-R: Remind me not to sleep tonight.
E-R: It's good. I'm a keeper...He's still trying to tell himself that one.
C: I'm so OLD...
H: Yeah, you're creepy..
E-R: My mum has asked her to ask her for her ID...not quite the same...yeah, sometimes people do mistake us for sisters.
H: That's good...for her...
E-R: My mum's gotten hit on by a 20-year old once, but she thought he was hitting on me...my mum's a cradle robber. Just kidding. They *want* to be cradle-robbed. My mum's pretty hot. Not gonna lie.
MM: Not gonna comment.
E-R: I belong in public.
E-R: Their four-fingered four-footed four-toed father..
MM: Four fathers?
MM: Last time I went skating was eleven years ago.
E-R: And what were you doing?
MM: It was before, I was ten...I used to skate in costume...I was a yellow crayon.
E-R: He was a yellow crayon.
MM: ...I think there was an obstacle course..
E-R: Why'd you have to skate in costume? I played Ringette, though, so joke's on me.
E-R: You will love me and you will like it!
C: I figure I should have milk in it, because sometimes coffee is my only source of calcium.
MM: Here I am on the red carpet with so-and-so. You look fabulous. Quick, shoot me up.
mum: She was a good comedian once.
MM: Yeah, before she lost feeling in her face.
MM: CSI is like the new Star Trek. CSI: Deep Space Nine...
MM: I wish WE had a heavy metal station in Halifax. I have to wait 'til 1am, because that's when WE're out in public. And even then they just play Ozzy Osbourne..
MM: So when I smile, she's like 'you look gross.'
E-R: I didn't say you look gross, I said you look psychotic...there's a difference.
E-R: It's like footsies extreme...wielding swords...I had sugie in my coffer...
E-R: You guys notice his belt buckle? He told my mum 'I stole it off a Chrysler.' 'Really?' No, mum..
C: You could really hurt someone with that. Of course, you'd have to be in a pretty awkward position...
MM: There were baked goods at the end of that move.
E-R: They were at a basketball game, and they were all singing.
MM: And there were baked goods...I dunno. Could have been crack.
E-R: I like to look on the bright side. A schoolbus goes off the side of a cliff and all the kids die...I'm like, less pollution and the kids all go to heaven...
MM: What about the Scientology kids?...They go to the Tom Cruise fanclub.
E-R: I went to this website..it's like, so...we're gonna strip-search you...
E-R: When I sit down, my shirt goes from here to here and I don't know why.
MM: That's what happens to my underwear. My voice goes higher as I sit down.
- (skating)
C: Number one was sprinkler-system installer. The next was embalmer. I'm very suited for those professions, apparently...
H: Was there a question: 'do you like dead bodies?' and you answered yes?
C: I think it was something about not wanting to work with people...
AS: You don't like working with people so you have to kill them?
H: That's discrimination. Just because they're dead doesn't mean they're not people.
C: I love the smell of smoke. It's like my number one reason to be an arsonist.
deathly hallows. meaning 2 of hallows: a loud shout to incite hounds to the chase. KR: Maybe Sirius comes back!
C: I love serving as bizarre entertainment for mysterious strangers.
A: Yeah, Buddha's so cute. He wouldn't participate in the argument, but everyone would attack and kill him because it's a death match.
K: Oh, Kafka's kinda hot. Who knew?
A: Oh look, Marx looks so proleteriat.
K: Is that my dog? And by dog I mean car. Freudian slip...sort of.
A: The moment I get it I'm like nothing doing...nothing doing...(laughs)
K: A's mad talking skills...
H: And that hand gesture really helps...
K: A's just dead and laughing...clearly the joke's not on me at all...
A: I'm be stupid and dead, clearly...
- (bubble tea)
E-R: I have brain freeze right here.
C: You don't have brain in your nose.
E-R: I do. That's why my thoughts are so fragmented.
E-R: I just don't think you should chew drinks.
C: I always feel like my stomach goes wobbly when I eat wobbly things. It doesn't, but I think it does, so I poke it and I laugh.
E-R: I hit him in the crotch and I hit him in the chin and he bit his tongue and he hit his head against the wondow...
MM: This was all in a matter of five seconds.
E-R: I just can't control my limbs.
MM: And she was like, 'I told you so.'
E-R: I said I was sorry first.
E-R: You're so focussed on getting to your jelly.
MM: Yea, don't talk to me...ah ow. I just sucked my lip into it.
E-R: Drink much?
E-R: What's falling on them? Is that condom wrappers? No, it looks like condom wrappers are falling on them! They're lying down and square pieces of paper are falling on them. Forget rose petals; no romanticizing this...is that two women? Oh, no, it's a man and a woman.
E-R: Soon I need special shoes.
MM: I know. You ARE a special shoe.
E-R: I'm confused.
MM: Oh, he almost killed her; that's why she didn't kiss him.
MM: My nipples are like smarties that fell on the floor...you can write that down...like I mean hairy...
E-R: How many do you HAVE?
C: I like to dramatize my chewing.
MM: I'm like a human heat-pump.
E-R: And I'm Mr. Freeze! Well, Mrs. Freeze..
MM: You're married?
E-R: Are ya bleedin? Are ya bleedin?
MM: Profusely! *faints*
- (hockey)
H: Bastardly shit!
H: Alfie was in the perfect place, right between his legs...that sounded rude, but...right *through* his legs...
- (bus)
H: I'll just build up some mucus. Or saliva.
H: I have no food. I'm going to have pickles and icing sugar for *breakfast*...mix it up...
A: I don't know what's happening.
C: So what else is new?
A: What?
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