January 31, 2007: I hate you; all my insanity is being documented

HW: Oh, serial killer guy! Party! Party! I'm not usually that excited about serial killers.

C: It's like a zen garden of corpse.

HW: But I thought they were guinea pigs!
SC: Most rodents look like that when they're born.
C: You looked like that when you were born.
SC: Like I said, all rodents look like that when they're born.
HW: I hate you.
SC: Don't worry; we don't have mice here...
C: ...except you.
SC: ...Just rats. (laughs) Except you. Yes, that's why you got Mickey. He was attracted...

AS: mmm...rink juice.
SC: Juice. Rink.
AS: I have no self-censor in this place. I need to get out.

AS: I like sheep! They've got wool!
SC: I don't have any sheep ON me. I have only plants.

SC: LA is dirty in another kind of way, which is fine. LA is morally dirty, which I can deal with.

On television image of canal flooding with the hose in an inappropriate place...how we'd be more interesting and do dramatic poses when canal flooding...AS: I'd be, like, riding it around...

SC: What are you doing?
AS: I'm fondling this pillow. What else would I be doing?

Snakes on a Plane=Samuel L. Jackson crawling under seats and biting people on ankles. A on why snakes are preferable: That's the thing; at least the snakes aren't being accused of sexual harassment!
umm...biting ankles=sexual harassment?
SC:We all know what will turn *her* on. Let's take her to the reptile museum next weekend! I can just see her at the snake museum. "Come on!"
HW: "Bite! Bite harder!"
AS: I hate you all.

The birth of AS-ism:
HW: That guy; he's someone's son!
SC:No, really?? Someone's son?
C: I thought it was immaculate conception!
AS: It IS immaculate conception in my religion.
C: You started a religion based on someone you saw on the television for 3-4 seconds?
...
AS: Amen
HW: What?
AS: I said Amen.
SC: If it was my religion, I'd use a different word.
AS: Yes, like "Done!" I'll say "done."
SC: I'd have a new word like "ZIGAH!"

AS: There are so many things that make people feel special. I feel special without even doing anything...

AS: The whole institution of hockey seems to be founded on innuendo...It's true! It's all phalllic symbols! And the commentary sounds SO wrong...
(a little after, Sarah commenting on AS's hockey stick): Are you trying to demonstrate how big your penis is again?

AS: Maybe I have a sex change and that's when I get my oxygen powers!