April 6, 2008: The Quick & Dirty Guide to Inappropriate Library Terminology

J3: I took the personality disorder test and I didn't have one! I felt a little left out...the fact that I'm depressed about not having a disorder makes me question their online free test.

S2: How are you?
K1: *growls*
S2: I know! I was going to bike today, and it was going to be the only good thing about today!

C: You're just judgmental.
J3: I am judgmental about rat tails, yes, I'll admit that.
K1: I am judgmental about rat tails, real & hair.
S2: ..I had a rat tail in, like, grade one or two...
C: Ew.
S2: What do you want from me?! It was, like, grade two! My sartorial sense wasn't developed!
C: Sartorial is clothing.

K1: You post a lot of things about infjs...
C: Intjs..
K1: Yeah, and I'm infj, which is also socially retarded.
C: Yeah? At least you're not voted most likely to be a serial killer.
K1: Oh are you? I'm most likely to be Jesus.

J9: Sorry, Im just out of it; that's why I'm staring out you.
K1: She's stoned.
C: Totally out of it.
K1: I wish I was stoned.

K1: Is it really spiritual?
C2: No, not really.
K1: Good. I just get irritated when books try to tell me things.
C2: It's mostly how humans are evil and we should change the way we live.
K1: I read that, and I'm like 'I like me. I like my friends.'
C2: I like eating meat.
K1: I like bacon...

C: Just say no to what? Drugs? Sex?
J1: It's an abstinence heart.

S2: I am seriously losing it.
P1: You are the worst speller I've ever met.
C: I've met six-year-olds who are worse.
P1: Not me.
C: Really? I've met some stupid six-year olds.

P1: We've already talked about this. We're for the independent Maritimes.
S2: Totally, yeah.
S1: You're already floating out there.
p1: I don't think we're floating.
D1: ...Alberta should seperate.
P1: ...No, totally, the worse decision the Maritimes ever made was to join Canada. We were rich.You guys were poor.
D1: So what are you going to call it?
S2: I dunno...Maritimia?...The People's Republic of Maritimia.

P1: Yeah, we were already having that argument. I was like, 'it's totally a girl,' and she was like, 'I know my body; it's a boy,' and I said 'you don't know shit about your body.'

P1: See, this is what makes me think I'm not a guy. It doesn't bother me when girls talk about their periods.
C: It bothers me. I think it's disgusting.
R2: Yeah, I don't talk about it that much.
P1: I probably talk about it more than you do....shit.

p1: You might get beaten up, though. You keep on laughing at other people's pain.
*C laughs hysterically*
R2: Are you ok?
C: Just losing it a little.
R2: Losing it.
P1: Yeah, like you talk like this is a process you're undergoing.
R2: You've already lost it.

P1: Sit down and grab some imaginary ass with V*** here....I said imaginary.
J1: But it's right there.
P1: I didnt say the ass of your dreams.

V1: I dated a guy like that.
P1: "I like no boobs, no ass, and the body of a twelve-year old boy."
J1: That flies in the face of all evolutionary biology.
P1: Why not like guys?

P1: I would not be surprised if he wrote a song called "The Rape of the Lock" just to piss off his fans, because they'd be like 'cool, rape!'

P1: You know who I hate? Old people.
Q: You know, there's a problem with that, because you're going to be old someday.
P1: Yeah, but when I'm old, I'm not going to call an ambulance at 3am because I'm having trouble breathing.. You're old.

P1: Did you know there are 3 Dali paintings in Fredericton? Yeah, because Lord Beaverbrook used to hang around with Dali all the time.
C: Really?
Q: Lord Beaverbrook?
P1: Yeah. I call him Jebediah Fredericton, because Lord Beaverbrook was basically the Conrad Black of his time only he didn't steal the money.

Q: I went to Ottawa on the weekend, and you know what I noticed? This country is really sparsely populated....there was nothing, just like, trees and snow...
C: What, you don't like trees and snow?
P1: You're in the wrong fucking country, buddy.

P1: You're wearing a skirt.
C: Yeah, I really need to do laundry one of these days.
P1; It's freaking me out.
C: I'm running out of clothing!
P1: Hence the sweatpants yesterday?
C: Exactly.
P1: I like how you went Walmart slobby before dressy.
C: I gotta be me.

P1: Ever notice how people with a droopy bottom lip are always stupid?...There's no one with it at this school...it's like, you don't have the cognitive power to keep your lip from drooping...There's like normal, mouth breather, and mouth breather droopy bottom lip tard. Yeah. Someone should do a study. And after they do the study, I should do a user needs assessment....

P1: I'd like to check this book into your library and by book I mean my penis...and by library I mean any of your 3 orifices....'
S1: I'll guide your tool...
p1: Let me shelve this...I'll let you fill in the blanks..
S1: All our portals are open access...
P1: Quick&dirty....
S1: Let me service your needs.
P1: We need to write a guide..."The Quick & Dirty Guide to Inappropriate Library Terminology"

S1: If I have any children, they're not drinking any cow milk.
P1: Neither are mine, but for different reasons.
S1: It's like weird, freakish boobs out to here...no, it's genetics too, I'm sure. I'm not complaining about the boobs.
P1: I am. I'm flat...

S1: B*** totally wants P***. He just followed him with his eyes. He's totally jealous of S***.

P1; Don't you just want to pull W***'s ponytail?
C: I know eh? I hate sitting behind people with ponytails; I just want to yank it.
P!: Don't you just want to pull it and floss with it?
C: Nooo...
P1: She keeps whipping it around, like something in my teeth.

S1: Apparently all the library school girls are like sex fiends.
P1: Yeah, I heard at this end of school party, even the lonely girls bring their vibrators and go to town...You open the bathroom door and it's just like rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

P1: I'm going to miss hitting on that guy for four months.
C: You'll just have to find someone else to hit on.
P1: Maybe I'll hit on my wife.
Q: She'll just look at you funny. 'What are you doing?'