April 6, 2007: Bondage and reliability, they go hand in hand.

R: I should invent a religion where it is obligatory to penetrate trees. Arborealism...I like pines...
C: You're strange. My religion is about caffeine.
R: I think our religions are not mutually exclusive. We should combine them.

C: Who scored?
HW: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Can you tell from that?
AS: Heatley.
SC: I don't know *what* you've been smoking on the way here...
H: Just fresh spring air!
S: I don't know about *smoking*. Maybe I'd call it *huffing*. Maybe you can roll me some of that...
H: Go roll in the dirt, bitch! HAHAHAHA!!

watching House:
A: He should change his name to Home. Then he could say "I'm Home." Ok, I'll shut up now.
S: If he and Sherlock Holmes had a kid it could be called Dwelling...Loveshack..
A: Most messed up kid *ever*!
S: Actually, they're both pretty rich, so it could be Mansion.
A: Snazzy. Snazzy Mansion.

A: EGG!
S: Egg?
C: Egg is not an appropriate swearword.
A: Everything I say is deconstructed! I knew the moment I said it...
S: I don't think *anyone* would let you get away with "Egg!"...no, not even during a hockey game. Maybe "puck!"
A: PUCK!
S: "Pucky..."
...
A: "I'll seal you good!"
S: "I'll seal you good"? You have to think of the context in which you'd normally say it. Do you normally say "I'll fuck you good"?
* Alanna hides under pillow*

C: I want a hippo skull on display in my apartment when I grow up!
H: I'm never visiting your apartment when you grow up.

S: Some people eat monkeys, though, which is like, so weird. It's like eating something that looks like you.
A: I'm sure Creationists don't have a problem with that.
S:...It's like what they serve at a dinner for Evolutionists.

H: I put on a French accent when I'm speaking German. I should stop that.

H: And I can say I've had it which makes me feel so smart inside.
C: Because you had the beer?
H: That *particular* beer.

A: That's like a euphemism. An astronaut farmer was like dead people because they'd all die.

S: And we had to read about cigarette smuggling in Quebec and the guy's code name was Tarzan and the girl's code name was Celery.
C&H: That sounds familiar!
H: And if it sounds familiar, we probably read it.

H&S: Stupid Australians!
S&H: Rabbit killers!
A: We kill toads too!
H: I'm ok with that...

H: And Gary Bettman was in the stands and you were, like, cheering.
S: *You're* Gary Bettman.
H: OUCH. That's a harsh one.
A: Don't go there. Just don't.
H: Well, *you're* Mats Sundin.
A: Ooooh, that's bad on so many levels.
H: What does that mean? What levels?
A: The lack of hair.

H: I'm SO taking the, the...it's so far!...I'm SO taking the last cookie.

A: Did you hear that?
S: Obviously not.
C: What? What about venereal disease?
S: Ok, so the commercial was really like "If something is made of wood, it can burn." but I was like 'What? 'If something is worth doing, it can burn.'?' I was like, 'Are you talking about venereal disease?'

S: That always makes me think of Star Trek.
C: What?
S: The neutral zone.
C: Really?
S: I'm always thinking about Vulcans, Klingons, Romulans...you writing that down?
C: Yes.
S: It was very *important* to them...

"This is an unusal situation, but obviously saving a life takes precedence over overtime in a hockey game."

A: I'm on a roll this week. I feel like every high five I've done has been good.

R: I would call my sword Dumbo because it likes peanuts and it wants to fly. What's wrong with that? I know a sword, a good friend of mine, who likes peanuts. Why shouldn't my sword like peanuts?
Daisy, Boo, the Ghost Sword, Bente, the sword with a sharp edge...

C: Think happy thoughts. OMG.

Bondage and reliability, they go hand in hand.

A: But I'm afraid of daddy longlegs.
C: It's a stick person, not a daddy longlegs.

Big Tittles and Dazzling Diacritics.
R: Well, with most things, you can't know everything there is to know. But you CAN learn all about tittles. It gives a certain satisfaction.
C: Of course, you can't have a grammar magazine without rampant sexual innuendo. Or no one else would read it.
cover: an I in a bikini.
R: It could be a man in the I.
C: But that wouldn't keep the pun. Or, if it did, that would be unfortunate.

A/s?: That's taking being jilted at the altar to a whole new level.
S/A?: Flash powder!
A: SUCKA!...That's like the most immature thing *ever*.

H: Ow ow oh fucking ow, ow my leg, oh my leg's asleep. ow it's waking up. ow ow.

H: She said "Oi!" People who say "oi" are cool.
C: Oi!
H: Except C.
A: Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!
H: And A.
S: Oi!
A: Aussie Ausse Aussie!
H: Go roll in the dirt, bitch!