CC: I can give you some...
TNV: Pen pen pen... I also have a fiber-optic cable...
C: Why?
T: I found it in a tree.
O: It's like with children: you're like 'they're so cute I almost want to strangle them!'
CC: Who the hell says that?!
T: O, I am getting concerned about your children....animal hats...
O: See, now that would be strange. You without jewelery...
CW: Yeah. That would be weird. That...yeah.
T: I'm saving it for my wedding night.
T: MP will be a good husband. He won't dress his children in animal hats, anyway...
M: Uhmmm..
O: Another marriage prospect gone...
T: So you're going to breed yourself for blonde kids?
O: Children of the corn with animal hats!
O: He put aphrodisiacs in that soup, didn't he?
CC: Ajax? What?
O: You can't start laughing every time I open my mouth or we'll never get anywhere.
AS: I made a slight adjustment to the card. You'll see.
SC: *stare*
A: A really slight adjustment! I swear!
card:
A: I thought it was the cutest one there! It said "thanks" and I thought that was wrong! It should say "happy birthday!"
A: It's so intimidating!
CW: You're intimidated by your utensils?
A: Well, there's so many of them! And they're in the way.
S: There's a story. We were going out to dinner.....and Alanna was eating her meal with two forks. I just looked over and was like "What are you doing?" She was like "I dunno." She also stole the napkin.
A: By accident!
CW: I remember pretending to believe in Santa to keep my parents happy.
A: That's a good reason.
Li: Oh, I threw a fit. I was screaming to my mum, like "You don't understand; I need to know! I need to know because if I have kids I need to know if Santa Claus is real because if what if I still think he's real and then they get NOTHING!?!!!!"
CW: S puts up with so much. I think I broke her in for you. I've heard she tells stories...
A: Oh yeah...it's great, because it's like, 'at least I haven't done that...
CW: Like set yourself on fire because you were cooking wearing a scarf?
A: Yeah, I haven't done that one...I asked her once " Who's worse, me or C?" and she said " I think you're worse, because at least C has an excuse...."
A: When I was 13 I read an abridged version of War & Peace. It was this big. Instead of Prince Andre it was Prince Andrew. It just went downhill from there....
CW: A lot of people I don't respect remind me of people I see on television.
MW: So, you interested in trying martial arts?
CW: Yeah, sure. I think I need more violence in my life.
MW: Balance, or violence?
CW: Violence.
MW: Oh yeah. Good call.
T: So how's your makeup adventures going?
CC: I tried putting mascara on the other day and I blinked and I stabbed myself and it smeared up like this...I tried on the other eye another time and I sneezed...
T: I think I sunburnt my thumb.
MP: I don't pay attention to horse racing. I don't even know the rules.
CW&T: The first horse around the track wins...
MP: No, I mean like rules about the equipment...
O: Will I have scaly skin in ten years?
CW: Yes; it will go with your goldfish mouth. Stop doing that.
T: Yes, you will be a dinosaur.
O: Do I get to pick which dinosaur?
T: No; you will be a dimetrodon.
T: Ladies, we're jealous.
O: What, why? Why is jealousy the word of the day? Is is the word of the day?
T: No, I vote for syncategorematic.
CW: Yes!!! I LOVE that word!
MW: I'm thinking my trademark should be to say everything in a really sexy voice, even if it isn't sexy.
T: Like "vector mechanics."
MW: U, five dollars if you wait 'till the guy comes and pour water all over yourself.
T: 5?
U: Only five?
MW: Alright, six.
JF: I went through a phase where I was fascinated by trying to overcome torque.
CC: There was this prof and she had really dark skin and wore really tight white shirts, so everyone near the front row could see her nipples...
MW: It's a good thing she didn't go near your prof.
CC: He'd probably start crying...
J: Genesha is a racist.
CW: Who's a racist?
T: He's telling me Genesha is a racist. He won't forgive me for my skin colour...Genesha, the elephant-headed god.
J: He's really quite closed-minded.
O: Oh, just feed him some peanuts.
CW: Why are you killing yourself, Justin?
J: Because I'm sad you're not involved in this conversation.
CW: Awwww, that's so sweet.
MW: That's what I always say: when there's an orgy, invite C.
MW: There are probably about a million fetishes.
CW: Yeah. And they're all stupid.
MW: So, like, if your boyfriend would be like "C, dress up as a sexy nurse" then you'd be like "That's stupid."
CW: Yes.
MW: That's totally killing the mood.
CW: I don't care.
J: Not all vibrators come in the mail. Some have men attached to them.
CW: What about vibrators?
O: Vibrators?
T: You could incorporate a vibrator and a bra.
J: Why would a vibrator need to wear a bra?
U:...it's empowerment?
CW: That's the worst grumpy face I've ever seen..
M: Let me see? It looks like muppets. It's like cute and...cute.
CC: She's just a hippie. All she can do is spread the love.
M: She can't help it.
CC: I didn't mean it that way...
V: We all just want each other; it's weird. We need help.
J: Intjs tend to offend enfps because they tend to be like C and like killing things.
C: Only if they deserve to die...
O: What are you talking about?
MP: We said Hello Kitty and bondage and you started grinning.
MP: You're calling Fida's pizza?
O: I keep hearing foetus pizza.
O: Why don't we just play spin the bottle while we're at it.
J: We have bottles here.
V: We should get the waiter to join in; there's not enough guys.
V: Remember when they looked for lice in your hair in, like grade 5 or 6?
O: I loved that! I pretended to have lice so they could do it again!
CC: I've realised that I'd rather change a dirty diaper than wipe a snotty nose.
CW: ...I'd rather do neither..?
CC: I'd rather do neither too, but if I had to choose between the two, I'd rather change a dirty diaper.
CW: And you've spent time thinking about this?
CC: Because it's already there...
CC: Tamara was like "tell me the details!" and I was like "There weren't many details, just finger-licking and spoon-shovelling."
O: I read a 400-page book last night and I had 4 cups of coffee after not having coffee for three months and my presentation reflected that.
CC: O, you're my hero.
CW: I love you.
O: So, like, when you make babies....look, it's going well already!
O: I'm working out my bum just so when I go to the movie theatre my bum doesn't hurt after 20 minutes.
O: I actually told him about your Archie comics.
CC: I told a lot of people about that too.
CW: Oh god..
T: Ironically enough, I've been spending all my time on Wikipedia and been completely out of touch with the world.
CW: That is so you.
T: You'd think if you spent so much time on Wikipedia you'd be a little in touch with the world.
CW: Not really.
T: Wikinews!
T: A real kid in the U.S. is doomed to the name of Shithead.
CW: Was he an accident?
T: She.
MW: You should name your kid Accident. Accident W....I think I'm going to name my kids Accident and Bastard.
T: I tend to defend myself by my attitude. I don't look like the kind of person you bother with. I also don't look like the kind of person you ask on a date, but it's an occupational hazard.
C: If you smile all the time...in a non-psychotic manner...
U: You'll always be the only Russian.
T: That's not enough!! You've ditched me for M! He's ten hours younger! You've ditched me for a younger man!
MW: You're undressing me with your eyes.
V: Is that impure?
MW: It's ok; I'm used to it.
T: Come shirtless M! Come shirtless!
C: Wow, T, I thought it was U you were after. You're really intent on breaking up this relationship.
T: If I don't get one I get the other. Cover all the bases.
V: I have to pee.
U: Thanks for sharing.
MW: Just make sure you think of me while you do.
V: I don't have to make sure. I do all the time.
V: You know when I eat marinara, I think of you. It's like, "marinara." Oh no, "T."
V: You should have seen the look on his face. You were like " You know what's worse: string bikinis on men!"
U: Oh no; did I miss a look?"
MW: You just ruined his plan for the night!
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