September 26, 2007 : talking about chickens

J: Seriously, what would you have done if they had won (the Sens)?
CGr: I would have burned your entire country to the ground!!
C: I would have had an orgasm.
J: I think she got you there. I think that needs to go in the notebook.

M's tales of learning English:
'Do you have timbits with feeling?'
'She gave me papers and told me she wanted them back after and I said 'So I give this shit back?'

M: That's gross.
NR: What, needles or AIDS?
M: Garbage.

C: I like the belt and suspenders.
N: Nobody is going to pants me!
C: It's a little paranoid.
M: He's heard stories about Montreal...

N: The won't even take your pants off. They'd penetrate through your pants. That's why you need suspenders!
M: Or a chastity belt.
N: I like that. A chastity belt--held up by suspenders!!

N: 'Devirginizing.' What would be the real word for that?
M: 'Unvirginizing?'

C: Oooh, that's cool-looking fungus.
N: That's what--damn!
C: What?
N: I was going to say 'That's what your mom said!' but that doesn't...quite....work.

N: Do they have flying turtles? Or is it flying fish?
Jan: Flying fish.
N: Flying fish.. do they have flying turtles? Why wouldn't they have flying turtles?
C: Well, they're not very aerodynamic.
N: The flying turtles are from Super Mario! That's what it is!!
C: Oh god...*buries head in arms*

C: It IS a word.
N: Your face is a word!
C: No, that's two words.

US: You could do that. You could do one dirty sock with a hole in it and one dirty sock without a hole in it.
J: I just do mismatching underwear.
S: What, bra and panties?
J: Yes.
S: Oh, it's going in the book. We brought him up better than this, you know.

J: All I'm saying is if there was a JW Day, I would celebrate.

MW: I saw Blades of Glory and at the end Will Farrell releases a dove from his pants. I think that's how I'm going to exit the room from now on. Just like...whoosh!
C: Release a dove from your pants?
MW: Well, maybe from my shirt. Maybe you're right. I think digging through my butt would add to it.

MW: So, any sexy messages between you and N?
C: Um...mostly they're like "TACO CHICKEN PANTS!!!!"
MW:........ok.

t.v.: 'A father's saliva: the best thing he can give."

MW: So do all your disagreements end with violence?
N: Not even disagreements! I say 'hello' and she smacks me on the side of the head!
C: Oh, you deserved that one.

MW: Flowers! You should put some in your hair for N.
C: Uh. no.
MW: No, I have a better idea. You should put some in your ears.
C: Uh. no. ...although that would stop him sticking his fingers in there.
MW: Even better! You can put flowers in your hair, ears, and nostrils! That'd be really sexy.
C: Smokin'.

MW: You're not feeling my intense drama?
C: No.
MW: I almost lost the remote! *kisses remote*

MW: When he goes shopping, you should tell him to take a bite out of everything.
C: Uh. no. Because he would.
MW: And leave a trail of crumbs out of the store, so they can find them. Like a mystery....
C: Uhhhhhhno.
M: It would be like a mystery story!

N (describing M): Imagine me turned gay and talking about chickens.
Br: Ok.
N: Not that hard, is it?
B: Can you imagine N gay and talking about chickens?
H: That sounds like N. I don't have to imagine.

H: Was he gay? (Dali)
N: No. He's one of the few people I look up to who's not gay.

N: Because of course I wear lingerie. You should see my nightie.
H: Do you wear your suspenders with the..
B: With the nightie?! (laughs) The question is, what do they hold on to?
N: Well, I'm kind of into the sadomasochism...
...
N: And I could have the thong suspenders..
H: Just in case you lose that wedgie.

Mt: I hate phone companies. My worst one was Primus.
N: They're a pretty good band, though.
MH: Oh yeah?
N: They have a song called 'Detachable Penis.'
S: Are you sure it's not another porn movie?

N: ...and it's a very philosophical porn movie, because they even start talking about 'gazpacho'...

N: Chickens don't wear pants.
S: That's true; they don't.
C: Tanning makes your penis larger.
N: That's true.
S: I'm in. ....This is an awkward conversation.

N: Maybe it's 'wheel penis.' Like Elmer Fudd saying it! 'This is weal penis. Vewy weal.'
MH(?): 'Elmer Fudd Reads Erotica".
N: 'Vewy Vewy Naughty.'

MH: I gave you 'anus!'
N: It was 'heinie!'
S: Yeah, but 'heinie' is more than a localized assal region!

St: It's not an orgy, it's a moresome. It's a matter of etiquette.

S: You should wait until she has a cold. Then you get the nuggets.
N: I like the desert.

MW: You missed it. I was hovering again, and then I got sucked into the ground and had to claw my way back out again.

MW: If we were like the aliens in the X-files, we could irradiate the pastry with our eyes.
C: That would be handy.
MW: Yeah!