November 28, 2007: 'Lately I've been talking about goat sex. Discuss.'

C: I don't know why, but all of my conversations lately have had something to do with goat sex. I've been trying to figure out why.
Y: How am I supposed to read this now?!
C: Sorry.
Q: What is it?
Y: Oh, oral presentation.
C: Maybe I should stop talking.
Y: First, a question: was the goat shaved first?
C: I don't know...lube was probably involved somehow...

C: Yeah, all my conversations have been about goat sex lately. I've been pondering why...
A2: Maybe it's a Christmas thing?

P: I mentioned that I prefer sheep. They're fluffier. Goats would kick more....There's sheared sheep and unsheared sheep...more cushion for the pushin'....

P: You do this! 'Lately I've been talking about goat sex. Discuss.'

C: Ninjas don't have buggies.
P: Dune buggies. Ninjas have dune buggies. It's a well-established fact.

P: I can't believe we haven't said anything quotable in a while. Like, she capped the pen.
A2: It's a sign.
*C takes out notebook*
P: Haha, I win.
C: You know, you're getting dependent on this.
P: From what I've read, most people are.

P: There's no love, there's just pain, and beatings.
C: Oh, sadomasochism?
P: No, shes just evil, and I'm pathetic....amateur porn...something just got written down...

C: I remember singing about diarrhoea in grade 4.
P: Oh, me too.
A2: The diarrhoea song...
P: 'I was walking down the hall, and I felt something fall, diarrhoea...'
C: 'Diarrhoea'....I made up like twenty verses to that.
P: Oh yeah, me too. And they didn't even have to make sense, they just had to rhyme. They could be, like: 'I'm up in the air, not wearing underwear..'
C: Oh, mine made sense. I was picky about that.
P: You were a purist?
C: I also made up a lot of poems about people I didn't like.
P: You didn't have very many friends, did you?
C: No, I really didn't.

P: I'm a manly girl. A girly man. The first sounds better.

P (to A2): Stop poking your holes; you're in public.

U: I think I have an average of wiping out about three times a winter
C: I like to watch people do that and laugh.
U: It's definitely the most slapstick of all the seasons.

J1: And he spent a lot of time in the USSR, which I guess in those days was not normal....well, for an American.

J1: I'm probably going to be drunk for the next one.
C: Why?
J: I have a program with my quintent at five, then we go out....then discussion at 7...you don't need to be sober for it! 'Information literacy is important because....' I hope N never finds your facebook.

J1: I was going to do the evaluation of my peers Wednesday morning when I was skipping class, but then I figure that she would probably figure out when I did it...so I did it Tuesday night instead. *taps head* More than just a hatrack.

Rico Suave: Can anyone name anything else that grows exponentially?
X: Bacteria?
RS: It's true. It does! So say you stop washing. It grows slowly at first, but as you continue not washing, they reproduce--they're like bunnies! And it grows like crazy. Just like the web!

RS: And we have the big group toto, and we have Toto Toilets! Yeah! Toto is an American company that makes high quality toilets.

C: I don't think they'd like me as the librarian for the CIA. I'm not a very secretive person. And I'd write down everything people said and I'd post it on Facebook. Even if it involved classified information.
J1: It's true! 'C, you just leaked a huge secret. You jeapordized national security!' - 'But it was so funny! And don't you love the one about the Afghan terrorists?!'

E-R: Three weeks? Shoot him with a BB gun. I have solutions to everything; they just somehow end violently.

E-R I have acquired a mullet....maybe sitting by the fire will dry my hair.
C: It's wet?
E-R: Yes.
C: Since when?
E-R: (sad voice) Yesterday afternoon...

E-R: At least now you're bottoms match your top. Before it looked like you almost gave up on life.

E-R: Could you stop hitting my crotch with your tail?
C: He's stroking it. Oh no, I don't want to go there.
E-R: I thought I was supposed to be doing the heavy petting on him.

C: What's worse is when my nose is stuffed up, I get nosebleeds too.
E-R: You're like a walking disaster of health epic proportions...

E-R: Why are you kissing her bum?
HW: Because I can't reach her head.
E-R: That's not as efficient. That's not a good trade-off.

C: I had screaming lessons.
E-R: You had screaming lessons?!
mum: They worked, too.

H: She's going to turn into a cat.
Miranda: She's a cat..wolf.
H: Werecat.
M: Yeah! I can see her getting hairier from over here.
C: Just because I shed doesn't mean I'm hairy.

C: Poor Alfie's having groinal problems.
H: And he's in my hockey pool, bitch!

H: Ok, smile and look lovingly at the kitty. Or Don Cherry.

CC: Don't you think Casey would be a good mummy?
OH: To what?
(simultaneous)
.C: Cats
.CC: A baby
O: I think you should start small with a cat, work your way up the evolutionary chain. I don't think I could handle a cat, though. I'd start with a fish.

O: I always though if I had kids I'd do cooking with them. So I'd be making salad and I'd have real tomatoes and they'd have cherry tomatoes...and they'd have to wear animal ears.
CC: For how long?!
O: ..I'm surprised you guys don't think that's cute.
C: It's cute. It's also child abuse if you do it for too long.

C: You're such a nut job. I hope your husband controls you. Not in a bad way.

O: How weird would it be if I dressed as a panda to school?
C&CC: *dubious looks and laughter*
O: No, let me explain first! You guys are horrible people!

T: Ok, for the first time in 12 years, you're going to have me staring at your boobs.
C: Yeah, I noticed your eyes just went down.
O: Happy drunken phonecall day, C.

T: The first thing you do before someone licks your balls is make your sure you know how to spell their name. So you can have artful memoirs afterwards...

C: And there's always a puppy. Trapped in a car.
T: Actually, I think there was a puppy trapped in a car.
O: Puppies cause so many deaths...

O: It's a good thing to kick puppy dogs, because they'll just murder people in the end.

T: Your middle finger is awfully long.
O: All the better to give it.

O: I don't want to study, I just...
T: Do you want me to come over and crack a whip?
O: Please do.
T: Do you have a whip I can crack?
O: I'm not going to dignify that question with an answer.

C: Here I am, trying to have a serious conversation about cats, and you bring that up.
T: Cats are important. Orgasms are important. What's the difference?

C: Stop staring at my boobs.
T: I'm staring into your eyes actually. I'm still straight...I'm just self-confident...

T: Ok, what Japanese demons do you know?
O: The kind that possess my phone?

C: Stop making out with your calculator. You're in public.
T: Who else would I make out with?
O: I love calculators.

O: Why am I so sleepy all day?
T: Because you're not getting enough sleep.
C: Because you're not getting enough coffee.

NR: You agree that he's(Enrique Inglesias) hot, right?
Je: No.
S: He has a giant mole on his face!
N: No he doesn't! He had it removed!
S: It's growing back!

S: Stop! Stop making my pocket talk!

C: I don't think you want to be doing that. I've had a nosebleed for the past two weeks. The only thing that's stopping it from dripping out my nose right now is the buildup of mucus that has gone all crusty.
N: That's the most appealing thing I've ever heard you say. Isn't that going in the notebook?

Je: Ew, you just boogered on me.

C: Bite him! She listened to me! You're awesome. She's awesome.
N: So, your name is apparently awesome.

C: Mucus and blood!
N: 'Mucus and blood.' That's a hot mantra.
C: If it keeps your fingers out of my nose, I'm happy with it.

S: Ow! You just bit my nipple!
N: At least you still have them. I mean...

C: Mucus and blood! Crusty mucus and blood!
N: You know, you could blow your nose occasionally.
C: No, but then my nose would bleed continuously. The crustiness stops it. It's strategic crustiness.