C: Well, you're all set then.
N: I'll just have to marry forty thousand women....I'll become Mormon and have lots of concubines.
C: Not all Mormons are polygamists.
N: The good ones are. 'Orange R.' That could be a drink!
---------------
OH: And their theory was that the little tyranasaurus legs were to titillate the females. And so he put on the overhead a picture of two t-rexes doing it doggy-style...
TNV: Doggy-style? How did they fit?! The tail would get in the way.
O: Oh, the tail did not get in the way. It was very graphic.
T: I'll be staring below your neck a lot today, and people will think I'm staring at your boobs.
C: I'm used to it after last time.
O: Why are we having an intellectual conversation about your breasts?
C: I don't know. She brought it up. Ask her.
T: I have an intelligent dirty mind.
O: Today it's all about breasts; yesterday it was all about making love in the back of a Cadillac.
T: BMW.
O:...no, I don't want the products of perfect German engineering in my bed!
T: Are you insulting the product of perfect German engineering in my bed?! Which happens to exist?
T: But love is an endothermic reaction...
O: But also entropy...see:
ΔG=ΔH-TΔS
...so the temperature needs to be as high as possible.
T: So that means you need to be in Africa?
O: But isn't the idea that if you love someone it shouldn't matter how many spores you have to count?
O: What if I never get to see his afro man hair? His afro man chest hair?
T: O, there are lots of men in my life, whose hair I would have liked to see. But I did not. And I live...
O: I mean like showing up to his lab one day and him being like 'you have to wear a lab coat' and I go 'do you have to wear anything else?'
T: I think closed toed shoes are mandatory.
O: The amino acids suddenly turned the tide? Uracil is taking it too far? No, wait, that's a nucleic acid. Tryptophane..
T: Yes, there are many uses for a private lab...
O: Wait a minute! You could totally say you had been conceived in a lab, if your parents were scientists....
T: Yes, they say you shouldn't use test tubes as dildos.
C: Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! What if they break?! Ow Oh! Oh god! Ow!
T: I notice C's looking more disturbed than O; does this mean she has more experience?
C: No, I just have a horridly vivid imagination on certain matters. Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Oh god! Ow!
...
O: What are you thinking of?
T: I'm still thinking of test tube dildos, so...
O: Ohhhh....*covers face*
C: The dialogue in porn movies is terrible and sad and inane and ungrammatical.
T: ...You have more experience than me.
C: I end up on unfortunate websites sometimes when trying to illegally download TV and am appalled by the grammar.
O: Please write that down.
C: (muttering) Seriously, it's not that difficult to distinguish an adverb from an adjective...
C: ...I spend a lot of time there and chat with the strange demented beings who go to my school.
O: Well, bring them to Ottawa sometime.
T: Those strange demented folk whom I judge not for I'm a member of their lot...
O: I have a friend who's a massage therapist. He gave the cats a massage....
T: I'm working on cultivating a dirty mind.
O: My dream is to get trapped in an elevator with him.
C:..I dunno, what if you had to go to the bathroom or something? I always imagine that something like that would come up...maybe it could later turn to cannibalism..
T: ...one of you eats the other..
C: You could trade legs!
O: It's a romantic fantasy, people! People don't pee in a romantic fantasy!! We are physically perfect beings!!!
C: That's just what I tend to come up with. I don't have a romantic psyche.
T: For some reason I can imagine myself married, but I cannot imagine myself living in sin.
C: I can imagine myself living in...cats.
T: Cats are sin.
C: They are NOT!
O: Imagine having one roomate for the rest of your life. Never having your own bed....I steal the covers! I talk in my sleep! I am not a good bed mate! I don't want to be a good bed mate!
C: I kick things. Once I woke up to find I had written on my wall "Animal imagery in King Lear: Discuss."
O: Hooking up my TAs is easier than I ever dreamed possible!!
O: For some reason I don't think my husband would appreciate my bursts of nerdiness.
T: Marry someone as nerdy as you.
O: He'd just sit and collect spores alll day.
C: Cats and coffee and caffeine and..
T: Tourmaline and tea.
O: My initials are OH and I like alcohol.
T: My initials are tv and I don't like it.
T: Now you get the erotic striptease you've never seen before...
C: An erotic striptease of a hair elastic?
C: Maybe you can just be like T, be a pure geek through and through. That would keep you from being domain-specific.
O: If that keeps me from being a science person, so be it.
C: I love how you have nostalgic memories of whale vertebrae.
T: I do. I have nostalgic memories of whale vertebrae. And as you have seen by my facebook photos, double tusk narwhal skulls..
T: 'Hmph, I have no one to seduce. Waste of good eyeliner.'
__________________________
HW: I was trying to watch television on Sunday, and it was going very badly because there were all these evangelical dudes who were sweating a lot...
dad: The guy with the..
C: David Bowie outfit?
dad: yeah, and the...
H: the lip ring?
dad: yeah.
C: Although sometimes when I'm scared, I freeze.
H: Yes, but in how many movies do these characters freeze? Can at least one of them run? Do something?!
H: He's a little more dignified, there. And he burns heretics, and stuff! Which wasn't so happy...
H: We don't usually go that way because then you're walking through tons of first years...and they're usuallly all going to the caf and you're like 'awwww...I have no food in my house.'
MW: He completely failed to notice the hair on my toes and how sexy it made me look...I'm trying to grow a patch on my face right here to make the rest of my face look cuter by comparison.
C: Pretty bookcases!
M: Not especially.
C: Well, they're full of books.
dad: This is like pacman. You're driving towards someone....
__________________________
T: I want to make a Spiderman cookie and take a picture of it and send it to him.
O: That's a really odd goal....I'm right with you. I don't know why, but I'm right behind you.
T: 'Seven skippers skipping' and they all had skipping ropes...
C: What does this have to do with school?
T: What does skipping have to do with school?
O: C, you're such a good student.
C: Ohhh....it's a pun...
O: Coffee and sugar: this is really dangerous. I want to run around in circles chasing my non-existant tail...
O: I want to eat bunny now...all this talk of cute bunnies is getting me hungry.
C: I don't really get much from watching hot women.
O: But don't you ever think 'wow, that would look really good on me'?
C: I would think 'ow...that would chafe...'
O: We have totally different opinions on scanty leather bodices!!
O: T likes to talk about what she wants to do with her jewelery. Sometimes it's perverse.
T: Sometimes I like to layer it four at once. Four at once!!
O: She likes the really long ones.
T: Actually I don't. I like the medium ones....well, I'm a small person and..
...it's not the size that counts, it's how you use it.
C: ...with the cord. Dad was telling us we were bunching too much and we needed to spread out so he tied half of us together and made us play the rest of the team like that. We lost.
O: Please don't live off Mr. Noodles.
T: I could lend you money.
C: But I don't like being in debt to people.
T: Then I'll give it to you. As Christmas.
C: But I'll still feel an obligation.
T: You gave me a chaos shirt. That's obligation enough.
C: But you gave me a caffeine necklace!
O: You're so cute!! Please quote that.
O: I'd have to take one of the flowers off.
C: Go to McDonald's a lot, until you fit into it.
O: I don't think the wrists are the first to go..I think I'd go first. My heart would go.
C: Do it for the jewelery! You'll look really nice in your coffin!
O: ...your ghost could live vicariously through me...that made sense in my head...
O: My kids are going to have miniature versions of this hat and waddle along on leashes. I'm going to be the best mother ever!
*C takes out notebook*
O: I take it that means you disagree...and you can extend them! You just reel them in! You don't even have to call them over!...the sugar high is making me dizzy.
T: I like cannibalising jewelery because then I know it is mine.
O: You beat it into submission?
T: No, remake it into my own image.
C: I like 'beat it into submission' better.
T: You're making too much of an analogy between my relationship with guys.
O: (aside) I bet T makes her husband wear the animal hat.
T: I've already had trouble launching a dominatrix career; don't rub it in.
C: You just need to borrow O's dominatrix boots.
O: We can be yummy mummies together.
O: Would you get engaged just to get a ring?
T: No. I would not get engaged just to get a ring. Just to get regular sex, maybe.
O: The stag dude necklace...thank you for humouring my use of the word 'dude.'
T: I'm humouring your use of the word 'stag.'...there is such a concept as a 'stag party.'
O: Are you saying this is a stripper's necklace?
T: Like, I'll be kissing someone and be like 'ooooh, shiny!'
C: Then get with someone who's ADD as well and you'll have the weirdest makeout sessions ever.
T: Those Israelis know a lot of stuff. Like silver jewelery and shoes..
C: The most important things!
T: For me, yeah.
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