February 18, 2007: This is reaching epic proportions

hockey:
"Then we would have had a real rhubarb!"
"He is also one-for one in penalty shots while haemorrhaging."
-"It gives new meaning to the expression 'Here's Anton in your eye' instead of 'Here's mud in your eye.' (laughs hysterically)
="Have you been sitting along in a sauna for a really long time or something?...You're listening to...someone who must be really high on cold medication on the Team 1200.."

AS: I'm genetically-hardwired to punch myself in the stomach when I'm hungry. (notebook girl springs into action) Noooo! I should have known. This is reaching epic proportions...

SC: Are you stealing the magnets?
A: Yes, I'm fondling th magnets.
S: That's not what I asked. That's a little too much information.

C: Oh, you think alien poo just dematerializes magically?

A: Fu*king gluten gods, so bloody fickle.
S: Or *pickle*! ... You were doing gluttony; I did fickle pickle...My jokes are wasted on you people.

HW: This is your brain; this is your stupid brain.

H: You're off the beat, loser.
A: The *imaginary* beat?

H: Why are you calling yourself lame, idiot?
A: What? I like saying it!

H: Don't even think a fu*king thinker about it!

A: I had a thing in my mouth; what am I supposed to do?
C: You mean your tongue?

H: They're trying to work off their sentence.
A: By guest-starring on Grey's Anatomy?
H: It made sense in my head.

H: It's like 'fu*k you' and I sneeze and it rhymes and I don't mean it to.

H: All I can think of is "stapler."

H: Whoa. It's pink. I've never seen pink on a weather report before.

A: I've scratched that scratchy thing before!

H: (dancing) Do the snow dance, do the snow dance..
C: That's your *only* dance.

A: I'm just illiterate. Don't worry about it.
KR: Or just stupid.
A: Illiterate is a euphemism for stupid.

H: Do you know what I had yesterday for supper? Two pickles and some icing sugar.

S: Here hottie hottie hottie...

H: I started and I didn't want to stop.
C: You're scratching youself in time to the music.

A: I think I have some kind of back disease.
C: That's not a back disease; that's H. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

A: I used to think I loved blue, but I realized I was lying to myself. I was lying to myself. I like red; all my choices pointed to the fact that I like red...I came out of the blue closet...

A: Ladles are too good for you. You're not worthy of touching the ladle.
S: Ladle envy...

S: You get drunk off jello.
C: Not really, it's just an opportunity to demonstrate my idiocy.
S: You get drunk off jello. It wasn't a question.
C: (laughs)...and sometimes I start singing "They call me mellow jello..."

C: I like this facebook thing. I used just to take all these notes and just read them and sit there laughing to myself...
A/H: Alone...in the dark...
C: It just seems so much less maladjusted this way!