August 10, 2007: llama....

C: How can you not like caffeine? It's the elixir of life!
NR: Maybe so. But I'd rather eat a mango.
C: What the hell does that even mean?
N: I don't know, but I stand by it.
C:...There's not even proper chemicals in it!
N: But there's mangoness! 'Man, I just had some seed....'

N: As a kid, I always wanted to play hide and go seek where the kid going out to find people had a turban on his head.
C: Why?
N: Like, the sheikhs. Now that I have a turban, I can finally play that game!!....I think it would be a good game, because then you would know who you should run away from: the terrorists!

N: I couldn't imagine a guy named Jeeves who was an astrophysicist.
C: That would be so cool! I want to meet an astrophysicist named Jeeves!!!
N: 'So, Jeeves, can you tell me the planetary distribution of...fuck! no! Jeeves, get me my coffee!!!'

N: But would it be Curious Lloyd? Or Furious Lloyd? Furious Lloyd. A llama on a rampage!!

N: I've been trying to stay away from metaphors, similes, analogies, and all that, except the one 'like a yak in heat.' That is the best expression ever!....Ah, people, they do not understand the multifaceted dimensions of 'like a yak in heat.'

N: 'Copulate' is a little dirty-sounding, though. Procreation, though: it's pro-, so it's good!!

poke of doom, poke of death, poke of Zorro...

C: I'm trying to picture a cowboy vampire, but it's just not working.
N: A cowpire?
C: A cow pyre? That's just a burning cow!

N: I've been talking to a lot of my friends lately, and they're like, 'you know, N, you should never have kids.'

C: A lot of my conversations have involved vampires lately.
N: Vampires are cool.
C: (muttering) Cowboy vampires...
N: One night I decided I was a vampire, so I just started biting people...at the end of the night, my friends were like, 'Why do I have bite marks on my neck? Oh, right, N...'

N: I could be the Unabomber. He was even Polish, too.
C: You'd just be a cheap copy.
N: Except he was a child prodigy.
C: So you'd be a worse cheap copy.
N: I'd be better!
C: How?
N: I'd be the Unibrower.

N: The sun is awesome. I think I tanned in just those five minutes.
C: I don't think I did.
N: Sure you did. You went from white, to eggshell.

There is a cathedral with...many...steps, the wedding tradition is to carry the bride, and slips etc are a sign of future marital difficulties.
N: And if you drop her, that's a really bad sign of problems in the marriage.
C: Starting right then. Especially if it's an expensive dress.
N: Just dress her in a burlap sack...and I'd go naked. Maybe I'd just wear a bowtie.
*C starts laughing*
N: I didn't say where...
*C bursts into hysterical laughter then, and also periodically through the rest of the evening.*
N: I meant around my forehead; I don't know what you're thinking...