October 5, 2008: And if you pay them, they put them right in your face

P1: With your brain, probably the things that happen in your dreams have a real effect on your brain.

J3: So is this going to last, do you think?
P1: From the messages she leaves on his Facebook wall, yeah. She’s like retarded for him.

V: Does anyone else want to talk about their embarrassing stories? No? Just me?
J3: You’re holding your own.

J1: What’s he doing at 10pm on a Wednesday night carrying a bag of apples? Is it a way to pick up girls? Because that’s really lame.

J1: And he was like ‘You have Kinder; I have pot! We trade, ja?’
V: Kinder?
J1: Like, Kinder eggs.
V: Oh. That doesn’t seem like a fair trade.
J3: How many Kinder eggs?
J1: I dunno...

P1: I don’t remember when I met you before I knew you were gay.
Q: It’s like a love song...

Q: Canadians are very confusing. I’m talking to a guy for like an hour and I think he’s hitting on me – and then he’s like ‘I gotta go call my girlfriend.’
P1: Maybe they were. I hit on you all the time. And S***.
Q: S***’s already got a boyfriend
...
S2: You’ve got competition, P****.
P1: I don’t think it’s ‘competition’ when I’m sleeping with both of you.
Q: It’s like Cabaret!

P1: But that lemming thing isn’t true; Disney threw them off the side of a cliff in Alberta.

P1: Rabbit is an idiot! Like, relax buddy, it’s just carrots!!
Q: Tigger could be annoying too.

Q: It’s like Brer Rabbit meets Adolf Hitler.
C: Yeah, it’s like 1984 for bunnies.

Q: Did you see the one where this cat tried to control the universe? He had this psychic rat and controls... - the thing I didn’t get was: cats already do that!

P1: I forget what the other reference to bricking in someone’s face was, but there were two. Shit a brick.
Q: Oh god.
P1: I think it was about his wife...

P1: It’s so weird looking at you when you’re upside down. I don’t know where to look, so I’m looking you in the teeth.
Q: Oh, she’s getting the notebook out.
P1: At least she’s coherent enough for that....’Cause, like, your teeth are where your eyes should be.

C: You’re a very weird person, P***.
P1: I am a very weird person. But, coming from you, that’s something.
Q: Yeah, if C says it...

J7: Do you think we need to improve things so that people feel that same assurance with electronic documents?
K1: I think that will come as a certain generation dies out...

P1: She was like lying there and twitching and having seizures while Q** and I were trying to talk. She kept interrupting us with our concern for her well-being.

K1: What are you eating?
C: Jello. It’s not solid food, so my stomach might not notice it’s there.
Q: What is that, squid ink?
C: Grape jello....

P1: What’s a turn-off?
Q: Smoking.
P1: Oh. I though you said ‘when they sing.’ If they’re bad, maybe...

K1: *siiiiiigggghhh*
P1: That’s like the call of the library school student.
Q: I did that today.
P1: ...these long drawn out sighs...
K1: I hate it here.
P1: If this school was a person, I’d kill it. Even if it was a baby. I’d drown it in bathwater.
K1: Or if it were a kitten.
Q: Or if it were a French woman with bleach-blonde hair...

P1: You shouldn’t have put it on Facebook.
K1: I wasn’t the one who put it there.
Q: Oh, so he’s bragging about you.
K1: I don’t care about these things.
P1: Your boyfriend?!
K! No!

Q: Doesn’t she look like the Joker?
S7: Yeah, she kinda does.
C: I’m just...
Q: Out of it?
C: Yeah....and I’m not even that heavily medicated now. Later...that’s my plan.
Q: You worry me.

S1: And there were more penises than I’ve ever seen in my life – except in movies – but they’re, like, in the same room...
W: And if you pay them they put them right in your face.
K4: Nine dollars.
S1: Right in your face! ...It’s kind of like paying someone to be the dirty flasher on the subway, but it’s a hot flasher.

W: How do you know??
S1: I went on their website.
W: Our bouncer was a stripper?!
S1: There’s an alumni night...

W: There was an amateur night. Our waiter jumped right on stage...

S1: I really think that if they could, guys would walk around all the time without pants.
C: Except in winter...
C&W: Shrinkage.

S1: You have fictional husbands; I know you do. Except they’re in books.
W: Mr. Darcy.
S1: I dunno. I don’t think he would be very good in bed. He’s great at the sexual tension, but...

S1: They’re not sideburns, they’re chops. It’s like sideburns that had babies all over their face.

S1: That’s the thing – it’s so expensive! I could stay home and get wasted for like a quarter of the price!

S1: At least in my house no one licks my face unless I want them to.
W: Sooo true.
K4: You have no sense of adventure!
W: Meningitis is not an adventure.

K4: It’s fun! People don’t always want to lick your face.
S1: Yes they do, C, yes they do. That’s all they do. Those are the only people who go there.
W: Dirty face-lickers.
S1: It’s full of guys who all they want to do is lick your face and hump your leg.
K4: Sometimes on a Saturday night all you want is to have your face licked and your leg humped.
S1: I could get a dog!

S1: Those guys don’t take no for an answer. They don’t take an elbow in the ribs for an answer either...

S1: But it’s like, so high; what if you fall off?
W: It has walls, S***.

K4: Ok, everyone who thinks S*** should dress like a hoochie, put up your hand. Ok. This is a democracy, S***....

S1: I didn’t know what it was either until K*** told me last year.
K4: Because you asked me to be your ‘fluff friend’ on Facebook. I am not doing that...
S1: ...You ruined it for me! I deleted ‘fluff friends’ because of you!

S1: Yeah, it’s called “The Fluffer” or “Fluffing” and it’s about this guy who fluffs this other guy, and I think he falls in love with the guy he fluffs.
W: His ‘fluffee’?

D1: This is the first time you’ve seen me watch a Christian Bale movie, isn’t it?
S1: Just remember he’s not really here.